


Scars

by FallingFlowers



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Pendragon Returns, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Merlin waits, basically they cry together and Merlin remembers a lot of things, flangst, nostalgic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 21:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13443600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingFlowers/pseuds/FallingFlowers
Summary: Merlin remembers more about Arthur than he does the rest of his life.





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> hi y’all  
> so this is just something I wanted to write to practice cuz I wanna try being more poetic?? idk if it worked but I tried

He rose out of the water, looking exactly as he had on the day he’d left. Merlin could hardly contain his excitement; his magic wanted to jump in every direction. It sprang up and out of him through the scars in his skin, scars that hadn’t been erased since Arthur’s time. They littered his body, remaining as unforgettable memories of a time when he’d been truly happy. They made him ache inside, and whenever he saw the particularly large one that ran diagonal across his back ,he would be forced under the remembrance of the instance that it had happened. Of what it had caused, in the end.

Their intimacy had always been something to be kept behind closed doors. The incident that had caused the scar on his back, it had created the beginning of something that Merlin would carry the weight of for the rest of his immortal life. The relationship between them had developed quickly afterward, from the friendship that it was to something further. It had never needed to be labeled, because they were always Merlin & Arthur, and they would never desire to be anything other than each other’s.

They had been out on the search for a particularly rough beast: one with the claws of a bear, the roar of a lion, and the wings of a pegasus. It had, very obviously, been a creature of magic. Arthur had been especially arrogant that day, declaring that he would kill the beast that dared to roam in his lands even if it killed him. His knights had tried to sway him, but it was to no avail. He’d proceeded to drag Merlin into the forest with him that very night, no matter how much Merlin grumbled about his safety.

Merlin could still remember the look in Arthur’s eyes as the beast had clawed at him. Even in the dark, the look of pure terror in his eyes—that held dark blue abyss that Merlin so badly wanted to fall into, uncaring of the consequences—was evident. His king could only watch on as his precious servant screamed at the top of his lungs and tears poured from his eyes from the pain. At some point, Merlin lost feeling in his body, but could still feel the aching in his heart as he heard the sound of footsteps. Arthur had ran.

Of course he had, who was he, but just a mere servant? Arthur hadn’t really cared about him, all the joking around and playfulness had always been another aspect of his personality. His destiny had been false; his king would easily be able to go on without him. He would find happiness, among his knights, along with a wife, when he found one. Merlin had only ever been a stepping stone on the road which Arthur walked his life.

It wasn’t until Merlin was released from the hold of the creature, as he saw Arthur piercing Excalibur through its side, that he realized he hadn’t been left alone. The beast fell over onto its side, and Arthur stabbed through it again, for good measure. Merlin could only moan from his place on the ground, and look on as Arthur stared at the creature furiously. The sound Merlin had made drew his attention away from it, however, as he immediately dropped his sword and crouched on the ground beside him.

He’d taken Merlin to back to Camelot as soon as possible, and sat beside him all night while he slept. When Merlin had awoken, he’d felt a hand softly running through his hair, and tears falling onto his chest, all before he had felt the pain of the wound on his back. He groaned, and opened his eyes, only to see the face of the man he so desired, the one who ran his thoughts and his dreams, asleep or awake. The man who he loved so much he would never be able to bear being without him. The man who had saved him, a mere peasant, his own servant. It all made Merlin’s heart throb in a way that was more painful than any way a beast could physically harm him.

He’d let out a sob, and tears had fallen from his cheeks, which Arthur could only wipe away before looking at him with those eyes that Merlin so adored. He wanted drown in the color that he would never be able to forget; the color that he would be able to identify even after his world turned to black and white.

He sat up in his bed with help from Arthur, who was still touching him, with one hand continuously stroking through his hair and another at his waist, to stabilize him. The feeling burned holes through Merlin’s skin, making him hot all over. His face turned red, and he tried his best to evade looking into Arthur’s eyes again, knowing it would only make everything worse.

When Arthur took hold of Merlin’s hand, it was what made him look up at exactly what he’d been trying to avoid. He found Arthur looking right back at him, an indiscernible expression on his face that Merlin had never seen before. His attempt to look away was quickly seen to be in vain as Arthur wrapped an arm around his back—mindful of his injury—and pulled him forward until their lips met.

It was then that Merlin’s life had truly begun. Everything about Arthur made him whole, awakened parts of him he’d always had to hide away. The feeling was invigorating, and every second they spent together became highlights he’d look back upon for years and years. He had refused to forget all the happiness he had experienced in his true life, his first one. All the time that had followed afterward, Merlin had filed himself as different people. He was immortal, and yet he’d lived hundreds and hundreds of lives.

Most of them had been lonely, constantly waiting for Arthur to return.

On the day Arthur had died, the day he’d been so forcefully torn from Merlin’s arms by the hands of death, it had been the last day of his first life. He quickly retreated into his second life, one of regret and longing. It was as if his strength to go on had been ripped irrevocably from his body, and all the life he had contained had disappeared entirely. It felt as if death had taken his soul along with Arthur’s, but left his heart beating, so his body would rot amongst the others.

Seeing Arthur standing exactly as he had been that day, it awoke everything in the life that had died. He was transported through every single memory, they bled through his mind like the wound on the day it had been received. His mouth stretched out into a smile—something it hadn’t done in years—and Merlin found himself running, feeling tears streak down his cheeks—something that had come to feel so natural during his many years alive. He jumped into arms he’d been awaiting for centuries, and wrapped his body around the strong one he so easily remembered from nights surrounded by silk sheets. They caught him, as they always did, and both of them hid their faces in the other’s neck, crying for everything they were worth.

Merlin pulled his face away from Arthur’s and placed his hands on his king’s cheeks, wiping away tear tracks with his thumbs. He gazed into the eyes he so clearly remembered, the ones he would continue to adore until the end of time. Carelessly, he ran a hand through that golden hair that felt exactly as it had when he used to pull and tug on it passionately, in the privacy of the bedroom. It was where he would admire the greatness of his king in whatever way he desired.

And then, with love in his heart, he pressed his lips to those he would never forget to remember, above all else. The lips that had worshipped him and his body for all he was worth. Even if he felt he was not worthy to have his king’s lips press along every inch of his largest scar for every night of the rest of their lives, he would cherish it for the love behind it.

**Author's Note:**

> comments & kudos are welcomed! 
> 
> thanks for reading! <3


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